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 I knew I wasn't making stuff up in my mind. Last night I took my first dose of brand Topamax. Here are my thoughts:

The Good
  • VERY potent. It felt like I was taking double the amount of the generic stuff. No feeling like I'm going to have a break through seizure/tremor/twitch fest. It also seems like whatever the release mechanism is, it's very consistent.
  • No diarrhea.
  • Less bone pain
  • Less nausea

The Bad
  • Insomina. Topiramate had me sleeping like a baby, which I welcomed, but Topamax had me up all night, which is not good for my brain. Since I didn't get much sleep, I feel like a crackhead who overdosed on caffeine pills.
  • Rash. I had a rash with Topiramate too, but it's worse with Topamax.
  • Worse Nerve Pain

It'll be interesting to compare the two at the end of one week.
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To all of the anti-gun control wackos and enablers in this country:

Each shooting in which an irresponsible asshole, or a mentally deranged nutter, or a criminal fucktard is LEGALLY able to obtain a FULLY AUTOMATIC ASSAULT rifle and cause deaths of innocents, YOU ARE TO BLAME!

Your "thoughts and prayers," are WORTHLESS.


You value an object made of metal and plastic over the lives of your fellow Americans. FUCK. YOU.

You take money from the gun lobby and pass legislation on their behalf at the expense of your fellow Americans in the name of "freedom" and "patriotism." FUCK. YOU.

Do we need another Sandy Hook, but with more dead innocent kids to get it through your thick and worthless skulls that we need gun control?

Or do the targets need to be...fellow gun lovers and enablers?


A Pissed-Off American

P.S. Gun control doesn't equal removal of ALL GUNS, fucktards.

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How can I forget that show?!

I LOVE that show!

Oh oh and Archer! Gosh, how did I forget that one too?
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My insurance approved my request to switch from generic Topamax (Topiramate) to brand Topamax. That was a pleasant surprise :) Didn't think they would, but they did! I never had an issue with generic drugs, but in this instance generic isn't cutting it. I can see why brand Topamax is so damn expensive.

Yesterday I received written authorization to see a neurologist. His ratings pretty much suck. Oh joy. But for right now, I'll see how the first appointment goes, if I hate him, then I'll switch.

So Volkswagen doesn't want to accept responsibility for their toxic box on wheels. I've exhausted all options with them and now it's time for legal action. Because at this point, it's obvious the only language they speak or care about is money. What a coincidence, I'm fluent in money too! Let's play!

My fall shows are back!


I'm excited for How to Get Away with Murder. I hope this season it doesn't disappoint. Not really excited to see Empire after last season's finale. It sorta jumped the shark for me. The same for Grey's Anatomy. Law & Order: SVU is a classic go-to for me.

I just realized I need some new shows to watch. LOL
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What a shitty day.


Did I mention I hate my worthless, insensitive and stupid family? Especially that stupid lazy cunt of a sister of mine.

"Mom, can you buy me some toilet paper?"
"Mom, can you buy me some maxi pads?"
"Mom, can I have money for the bus?"
"Mom, give me..."

'Ok dear, here you go'
'Poor girl, do what you want'
'She's entitled to stuff, because I've taught her she's a forever victim'

Goddamn, YOU are a fuckin healthy 40 year ADULT. GET A DAMN JOB AND BUY YOUR OWN DAMN SHIT!!!


And I fuckin HATE taking the bus. Some mental case wrapped in a blanket called me a "bitch."


Ok that was funny, but still. It was a reminder how shitty this day was going.


I'm so damn hypersensitive. On my way to work I bought some kleenex with eucalyptus and right away developed a headache.

I immediately got super lightheaded and finger twitches. Oh it didn't stop there. It quickly developed into tremors.

I freaked the FUCK out. I started to tear up, because I was so afraid I would have a seizure. Just glad no one saw me during my freak out. Fortunately nothing happened.

Did I mentioned I had a really bad day?


Sep. 22nd, 2017 11:17 pm
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When your life and world is a mess, go to youtube and look up old funny memes!

Ah 2007/2008. The good old days.
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No explanation necessary.

So Mueller, is it time yet?


Sep. 15th, 2017 07:56 pm
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End of work week. These are my brief thoughts how I felt during the week while on Topamax:

The Good
  • No more insomnia. Sure there are times I still have trouble falling asleep, but the medication will guarantee I knock-out no later than 1-1:30am.
  • Less serious twitching/tremors.
  • Almost no occurrences of the jaw clenching/tongue biting.
  • Almost no right-side weakness.
  • Emotional health has improved. There are times were I want to freak-out, become very angry/depressed, but didn't.
  • I'm forced to go to bed earlier, which isn't so bad. I wake up more refreshed.

The Bad
  • I have to drink LOTS of WATER! That also means I HAVE TO PEE A LOT. IT'S ANNOYING. 
  • I can't concentrate very well, which doesn't bode well for my job.
  • If I don't take my medication by 7:30pm, the next day I will be one giant lethargic slob.
  • Fatigue sucks.
  • Nausea sucks.
  • Blurry vision. To be fair, I had blurry vision before I was on Topamax.

And now this car issue needs to be resolved. The dealership is dragging its feet. Why would they prioritize my suffering? They have their money, they sold a car. Maybe I need a lawyer.


Sep. 12th, 2017 11:17 pm
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 I'm back on it. I hope it's temporary. The last time I was on anti-seizure meds, full-time was in 1999. At least this time around it's only 25mg, fairly low dose, compared to my peak worse.


Anyways, I'm waaay too tired to write out my feelings on the matter. Think I'll wait until the end of the work week to reflect and express my thoughts about everything.
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It just started to chirp. My birds are like WTF?

Nice little distraction from all the craziness in my life and of course the world around me.

Florida is one day out from hurricane Irma's impact. Good luck to whoever foolishly stayed behind.

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This week continues to suck for many reasons, but look a cute budgie video!

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This past week sucked, but this bird video made me smile :)

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Why is everything so difficult for me? All I wanted was to buy a brand new car that is reliable and would transport me and my passengers from point a to point b. 

That's it! 

I LOVE my car, except that it's making me sick! Literally, sick. I have always been sensitive to harsh chemicals, and I did expect having a minor temporary issue with the new car smell, but six months later I didn't expect to be having these issues:
  • Severe headaches
  • Moderate sinus inflammation
  • Moderate to severe sinus, face and ear pain
  • Breathing issues
  • Lightheaded
  • Vertigo
  • Twitching (yes muscle and limb)
  • Memory issues
  • General feeling like shit

After attempting to remedy the situation myself (ex. changing cabin filters, airing car out, placing bowls of baking soda under the seats) I couldn't take it anymore, I contacted the dealership. On Monday, they agreed to clean out the car's ventilation system with a special "deodorizing" foam. On paper that sounded good, except it made my symptoms WORSE!

Was going to watch Wonder Women this weekend, but didn't feel like sitting in the chemical wasteland on wheels. And plus I just don't feel well enough to go. 

Sad to say, but if this doesn't resolve itself in the next week, I'll be forced to get rid of the car. I have a liver issue and used to have a seizure disorder, so it's a lot more important for me to be healthy rather than drive a nice, brand new car that's making me sick.

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Edited: It looks like Dreamwidth is blocking this video. Stupid. Here is the link:


Aug. 25th, 2017 10:04 pm
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Each new day, brings chaos and 'WTF' moments. 

Between firings, hirings and utter stupidity, who is running our country?

If you were to tell me, Fuzzy the office hamster is making all the decisions, I would believe you. Actually, the thought of a hamster running this country over Trump and his goons, makes me feel better and safer. 

Until tomorrow...


Aug. 17th, 2017 07:32 pm
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 Other than the freak show in the Whitehouse, nothing really new to report.

All is well with work. No craziness yet.

Still dealing with the new car smell/VOCs

Putting money aside to move out.

That's about it.


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