My Journey

My sister sunk to a new low. 

Considering Cheesecake was HER pet, HER responsibility, I tasked her to find a facility that handles pet cremation. Also, I let her know she needed to step up financially and pay for it since she has skirted ALL financial responsibility regarding Cheesecake's care (this includes, feeding, housing, toys, etc.). This was the LEAST she could do for him.

Thinking she would finally do the right thing and get this done, I went back to work. How fuckin wrong was I.

After work I checked-in with my mom regarding Cheesecake's end of life care. My shock quickly turned to red hot anger when I found out my lazy, no good, cunt of a sister told my mom there were no facilities that would do pet cremation in our state and the only course of action was to dump Cheesecake in the fuckin dumpster like a piece of trash.

I knew that was a fuckin lie. Did she actually think I would believe that no one would offer pet cremation, in the entire state of California?! Really?! Did this bitch even fuckin try to find one? Or was this cunt trying to get out of paying for it? Probably both. When things are not a priority for her, she half-asses shit then washes her hands of it and leaves others to clean up her messes.

Even in my boiling hot anger, in UNDER FIVE MINUTES I managed to find a place that would cremate Cheesecake for $305 and it was less than a mile away. I phoned the animal hospital for confirmation, which only took less than three minutes. 

Just when I think she can't sink lower, she always manages to prove me wrong. She has done a lot of nasty shit, but this one, she can't come back from, at least not with me.

I drove my mom to the vet hospital where we completed the paperwork and dropped Cheesecake off for the last time. We will get notification when his ashes are ready to be picked up. 

Since my mom paid for the service, I'm willing to bet she'll give the ashes to my deadbeat sister. That is my mom's MO--the spineless enabler.

It's been a long shitty day. I'm going to workout to relieve some of this anger and stress.

 

But who's counting? As a country we don't seem to care enough to do anything about it. Jeff's tweet says it all.

What a week!

First we have a war of words between two unstable nutjobs that have access to nuclear weapons. Then our nutjob "president" decides the threat of nuclear war with North Korea and China isn't enough, Trump had to bring up the possibility of an armed conflict with Venezuela.

WHAT. THE. EVER LIVING FUCK.

Remember when all the pro-Trump morons accused the anti-Trumpers/Never Trumpers of overreacting to a Trump presidency and dismissing our VERY valid concerns about his misogyny (possible sexual predator), his racist rhetoric, his mental fitness and his intellectual deficiencies?

I do. Especially when each new day brings about embarrassment, dazzling displays of incompetence, chaos and stomach-churning uncertainty. It's gotten so bad, that my idiotic sister who WAS (heh) a very vocal supporter has now turned against him.

I ask this question, yet again: what will it take for the House and Senate Republicans to do their jobs and remove this orange disaster from office? Will it take an actual nuclear exchange for them to do anything?

I'm not holding my breath. Doing the 'right thing' is a lost concept on most in this country, why would our corrupt and spineless politicians be any different?

And finally, to end this abominable week, one of this country's most vile and disgusting enemy, the White supremacist decides to make an appearance. Re-branded and now known as the alt-right, they staged a marching protest, complete with lighted TIKKI TORCHES, nazi salutes and chants of "blood and soil", "White lives matter," and "Jews will not replace us." The next day one of the neo-nazis KKK members White nationalist/supremacist alt-righters decides to drive into a group of counter protesters, KILLING a young women and injuring many more.

The interesting thing about alt-righters is they don't have to hide behind hoods and blankets anymore. Why? The election of Donald Trump has emboldened them, gave them new life. Why hide, when our very own president appoints members of the alt-right to cabinet/admin positions, and champions their causes. David Duke said it best in his response to a Trump tweet:

"I would recommend you take a good look in the mirror & remember it was White Americans who put you in the presidency, not radical leftists."

I can't argue with that. A good portion of Trump's base are alt-righters (White nationalist) and that is a problem for our country. This can't continue. We as a country can't endure much more of Trump's incompetence, regressive policies and the emboldening of White supremacy. Our worst fears about having a president like Trump are coming true.

Would it be bad form if I shouted to all whom voted for him, "I TOLD YOU SO, YOU BRAINLESS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" that a Trump presidency would doom us all? 

My mom thought it would be nice/appropriate to send my uncle a condolence card regarding the passing of his daughter (my cousin). Each of us will write a message and sign it.

I'm awful at writing/expressing condolences. I don't want to say too much to the point where it gets weird and painful, but I don't want to say too little where it looks like I don't care. Eventually I give up and search google for helpful messages. I don't copy them outright, but they certainly help to formulate my own message.

Anyways while searching for helpful messages I found this site that will sell you a CD full of condolence/sympathy messages for $24.99. Great idea except the writing is horrible! I would never pay a cent for any of these. Here are some of my favorites:

My ex passed away a year ago on the 20th, but I didn't find out until three days later. I found out when his mother angry tweeted something about UCLA Medical Center disrespecting a deceased native's body. When I read the tweet I'm like who is she talking about? I was thinking she was speaking about a fellow patient who was Native American. It slowly dawned on me it could be my ex. So I googled his name and there it was...his obituary. It's rough to see someone whom you cared for very much, have their date-of-birth proceeded by their date-of-death.

I took his death very hard. What helped me was Jesus' forgiveness and Philippians 3:13-14.

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

That verse helped to remind me whatever happened up until his death just doesn't matter anymore. The past is gone and I need to move on.

Fast forward a year later and I'm doing well. Time really does heal. Yes, I will always remember him and the day he died, but I continue to press forward with my life.

Ouch...my gums hurt. This may sound disgusting, but I haven't done a proper flossing in ages. Tonight I did and well, my gums are hurting really badly LOL.
...

Today I was tested. When it felt my anger was going to get the better of me I prayed and read James 1:19. Doing both helped to calm myself down.
...

I saw a JD Farag post on jesusfreaks. Before reading the post, I've briefly watched some of JD Farag end-time sermons. He's a little cooky (in a good way), but his end-time knowledge is very good. Anyways so I watched his prophecy update. I don't think I'm going to be worried/anticipating anything happening in September, but hey like he said the rapture can happen at anytime.

While watching, I couldn't help but wonder if the enemy is using my ex's death and other issues to occupy my time and thoughts while all these things are going down? I'm devoting too much time worrying and obsessing about things that hold no eternal value. Is this the plan of the enemy to kill my enthusiasm for the Lord, steal my time and destroy my soul? To make me waste precious time about non-important things that I leave this earth not fulfilling my calling? It sure feels like it. I need to pray and ask for our Lord's direction.

NOOOOO! I got sick...AGAIN! Sheesh. Anyways I finally went to the doctor. I must say the front-office staff is full of fat lazy unprofessional bitches "ladies." The doctor was ok. I wasn't impressed by his knowledge, nor was I disappointed. He seems genuinely interested in my issues. I guess I'll have to wait and see.
...

School and work are humming along.
...

I miss Snickers. Sometimes I can't believe it's been four months since he passed :(

That's about it!

Pastor Chuck Smith died today due to complications to lung cancer. I'm happy for him that he is in our Lord's presence and no longer suffering, but I'm still sad. I did tear up (at the most inconvenient time mind you) when I heard the news about his passing. I...we all knew it was quickly approaching, but a part of me didn't want to face--admit that a day was coming in where we would be without him. I used to hear him everyday or just about everyday around 3pm on KWAVE discussing prophetic biblical events and bible related questions. I will definitely miss hearing him on the air, he has left a huge mark on the Christian community. He definitely left an impact on my life. Over the past 40 years, he has been responsible for so many coming to Christ and influenced countless others such as Greg Laurie from Harvest Fellowship in Riverside. I'm sure Pastor Smith heard these words upon entering heaven, "‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'" --Matthew 25:21 ESV

As uncomfortable or morbid as this may be, his death is a reminder to the living that there will come a day when we too will pass away, some sooner rather than later. The question that is presented to us while we are alive is, have we accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior? God has given us every second while we are alive to come to this decision by our own free will. We all sin and come short of the glory of God, Jesus Christ died for our sins, if you place your faith in Jesus Christ your sins will be forgiven and you will be saved. Please, don't let anyone deceive you by claiming being a "good" person will save you. It won't. No matter how "good" you think you are, you still sin and it's that very sin that separates you from God. If you die in your sins (not accepting Christ) you will have a permanent separation (hell) from God (Romans 3:10-18). Once we have passed into eternity it will be too late to accept Jesus Christ (Romans 6:23). No matter how hard the world tries to convince you of alternative spiritual paths, remember we only have ONE life to get things right. Do it now, don't delay because life is not guaranteed--anyone--healthy, sick, young or old can die at any given moment.

If you happened to stumble across this post, it's no accident, God is speaking to you. Do it now!

So my step-mother died about a week ago. When I got the call I was shocked, yes I knew she was in poor health, but no one is really ever prepared to hear someone they used to know died. She was a good person, I never had any issues with her, she was a kind and gentle soul. So when I heard about it from my father, I felt horrible not only for myself but for my father. Growing up I rarely seen him emotional, so when I heard his voice crack my heart broke for him. He expressed his desire to come visit me and my mother soon. I can understand that, especially when you are going through a highly emotional period.