My Journey

Dear Tooth Fairy,

My sister is stupid and starting up with that whole "I'm going to die from an imagined tooth/mouth infection" again.

*Sigh*

So Tooth Fairy please do me a solid and just remove all her teeth. Problem solved.

Thanks for listening!

nibblez

I finally got the news that my cousin died. She was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer around March 2016. She lived a good six months longer than her initial prognosis. We weren't close, but the news does hurt. She fought hard to live and I'm just sad she lost her battle.

This isn't "goodbye." It's "see you later."

Dear Imaginary Santa Claus,

Bring me a Surface Studio with 32GB of ram, 4GB GPU and a 2TB hard drive. Oh and my very own place away from my moronic family. Preferably somewhere on a livable Mars. If you have the time throw in a new car that runs on air power and can fly.

Sincerely,

Ana renewed2

Enablers will continue to be enablers. Screw that! Maybe I'm looking at this situation from the wrong perspective. Maybe I should delight in knowing my sister will burn herself to the ground. It's very hard to be in close proxmity to such dysfunctional foolery and not be affected by it.

I tried to let the situation be, but it's hard to do it when I'm constantly suffering the consequences of other's moronic actions.

I would full heartily embrace watching my idiot sister destroy herself further, except she'll take my mom down with her. I try to tell myself my mom chooses to needlessly suffer, but she is my mom. Why does she have to be such an enabler?

Figuratively speaking my sister has already poured kerosene all over herself and anyone around her all I need to do is wait for her to light the match and presto! Or maybe I should light that match...call-in an anonymous tip to the code enforcement department and watch the whole situation BURN! Oh man that would be delicious! But I know that would only encourage my mom to make excuses for her and it certainly won't change my mother's enabling or my sister's loser ways, but it would be fun watching her lose her shit. Hahaha.

Today my sister finally went to the dentist and...she lived LOL. After all the hysterics the dentist sent her away with a prescription of antibiotics and ibuprofen for her gum infection.

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

This would have been the end of my post except more drama ensues! X-rays? Nope, because she felt like she was "choking." Apparently the machine obstructed her breathing to the point she didn't want to continue. You know because dental x-rays will definitely choke you to death LOL.

Ok no x-rays, fine what about an oral exam? No to that too. You see the precious delicate flower didn't want to open her mouth wide enough for him to perform a proper exam because it hurt. LOL!!! So no x-rays or oral exam. Good thing I didn't miss work for her I would have been angry. Basically the dentist didn't want to put up with her BS so he gave her a referral to another dentist 20 miles away. Apparently he doesn't deal with "complicated" patients. That's code for 'I don't want to deal with your stupid face.'

LMAO!!

Yup my sister is a delicate and precious flower that needs to be coddled. She's goining to be 40 next year and still behaves like a nine year old. It's not cute or funny. When will the brainless wonder get a clue and start acting like an adult?!                                                   

After years of annoyance, fustration, bitterness and finally an all consuming hatred I think I'm ready to admit I need to refocus my efforts and leave the situation to the Lord.

Since I decided to go back to school and get a BFA in Illustration I had to make a lot of sacrifices one of which was moving in with my mother and my older sister. This wouldn't have been so bad if my sister wasn't such a spectacular mess and my mother being the indifferent enabler that she is. During the time that my sister has lived with my mother she has developed self-defeating "quarks." Basically my mother has allowed my sister's dysfunctions to grow like a maligant cancer, destroying everything and everyone that it touches.

I have pleded, argued and even fought with them individually on multiple occasions to enact change within themselves to better our living conditions. Yet the situation continues. Well I've had it. I'm too tired trying to reason with people who can't be reasoned with. I LOVE my mother and I will always want the best for her, but if I'm being honest with myself she has to shoulder a lot of the blame for this mess. She has the power to change the situation considering it is her apartment, but she chooses to let my sister do as she pleases. I know deep down my mother knows what needs to be done, but because it's hard she's unwilling to do it. Ok fine, she doesn't want the responsiblity of discipling and teaching your kid that actions have consequences, that's on her. She has chosen to live in misery due to decades of poor parenting, doesn't mean I have to.

( Thoughts on my sister )

So I got everything I needed to get done...BARELY. Client picked up paintings. I was horrified that the paint wasn't 100% dry. A small area was still tacky. Driver was a douche about it. Eh. Oh well. I was just relieved it was done. After busting my behind all night and only getting a few hours of sleep I went back home and fell into a coma.
...

Got my recipe project done. Well partially done, but considering all the pressure I was under, I didn't care. I absolutely accept a crappy grade. Fun times.
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RadNet FINALLY got their act together and I was able to get my tests done. It almost didn't happen again, because they were running late per usual and I couldn't wait for the tech. Off to the bathroom I went. I completely or near-to, emptied my bladder. So I was told either reschedule or drink as much water as possible in the waiting room. I wasn't about to get these tests rescheduled for the FIFTH time. So I drank LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of water. So much that I got sick ran toward the bathroom (but the door was locked) and barfed in the hall-way. LOL.

*Sigh*

At the time I was horrified and embarrassed that I couldn't hold my water. LOL. Looking back I'm kinda glad it happened. It's kinda of a "screw you" RadNet, "this is what I think of your service" *barf*

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

On Wednesday I have an appointment with my new gyno to go over the results. She's alright. Not the best, but better than that idiotic blow-hard with the ghetto office staff. I found her organized and respectful staff refreshing.

I really don't know what these new tests will reveal, but the sooner I know the better. All my plans are in limbo, because I can't plan anything until I know if I will have minor or major surgery and the extent of the recovery time. It's all really annoying and stressful. Especially when all the responsibility is solely shouldered on you.
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Got my mother's and I's taxes done in the nick-of-time.

UGH. I hate doing things at the last minute.
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Drove down to San Diego last weekend. My mother tagged along. My art history class requires us to pick a museum and a piece of work to write about. So I picked "Death of a Virgin." It's located in the Timken Museum in Balboa Park located in downtown San Diego. It's a beautiful place with a nice ocean breeze. I would like to return when I don't have so much stuff going on.

The drive wasn't very eventful. Coming back there was a bit of traffic, but nothing too bad. I was very tired by the time I got home.

Unfortunately since it was a last minute thing, I didn't realize this crazy hippie festival (Earth Day) was going to be held the same day I decided to go down there. Parking was NIGHTMARE!! Then my phone died. I needed it to take pictures. To make a long story short these places should really invest in a charging station. Anyways I found an outlet and it took an hour to get my phone charged.

Took the required pictures, ate our bagged lunch. Watched the hippies dance and do other hippie things. We joked about being in the jungle then left.

Not in a romantic sense. Things are quickly culminating to a head on many fronts in my life. Work is getting intense, upper management has laid down the gauntlet of ultimatums, either produce or get fired. Yeah, it's a wonderful time to be a new hire right? LOL.

*sigh*
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School is winding down, but the pressure has upped ten fold due to all the different projects, tests and papers.
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Waiting to see if my rental application gets approved. I initially thought I had no chance, considering the rental agent informed me the person in-front of me had a better chance to get the apartment. Now that the person backed-out, now I'm the forerunner. I should hear something soon.
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A certain family member is being difficult again (no surprise). I do have a heart to realize that person is lonely and craves companionship, but let's be honest here, who's fault is it that person is in that position? It certainly not mine. If you go through life being a self-fish, controlling, manipulative asshole don't be surprised toward the end of your life that no one including your own kids wants nothing to do with you. I find it interesting that he would flip-out that I didn't call him for two weeks. Yeah, two weeks is such a looooong time to go without speaking. Look I'm sorry you got sick and don't have any friends, but don't latch onto me to the point where you are demanding I call you within a certain period of time. Then have a tantrum and make stupid declarations that you can't take back all because someone doesn't call you back when you want them too. At this point I'm very close to just saying to this person I'm done, have a good life and enjoy your imaginary new "friends." I'm too exhausted, too tired and too stressed-out to deal with this emotionally damaged and demanding person.

I've come to the realization that my portfolio sucks. If I want a fighting chance to get an industry job then I have to retool my portfolio.
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I finally made contact with my father.

*sigh*

Let's just say I have mixed emotions about it. I know he will never change. So the big question is: should I just cut him out of my life, the way I had to cut so many other family members? I don't at this point, but it's something I need to really think about.

Me and my family have been blessed by God. We may not have lots of stuff, but we have Jesus. Not many can claim that. We are living in dark and perilous times, as evidenced by the incident at my school (clash between Christians and non-believers). Things will get worse before it gets better. But God has promised we will win at the end :)
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I think it's time to join the singles ministry. After mingling with the secular non-believing world everyday, it would be nice to interact with fellow brothers & sisters in Christ on a regular basis.

Ok that's it for now, I hates typing on my phone.