Fustrated

Sep. 15th, 2017 07:56 pm
nibblezz: (Default)
End of work week. These are my brief thoughts how I felt during the week while on Topamax:

The Good
  • No more insomnia. Sure there are times I still have trouble falling asleep, but the medication will guarantee I knock-out no later than 1-1:30am.
  • Less serious twitching/tremors.
  • Almost no occurrences of the jaw clenching/tongue biting.
  • Almost no right-side weakness.
  • Emotional health has improved. There are times were I want to freak-out, become very angry/depressed, but didn't.
  • I'm forced to go to bed earlier, which isn't so bad. I wake up more refreshed.

The Bad
  • I have to drink LOTS of WATER! That also means I HAVE TO PEE A LOT. IT'S ANNOYING. 
  • I can't concentrate very well, which doesn't bode well for my job.
  • If I don't take my medication by 7:30pm, the next day I will be one giant lethargic slob.
  • Fatigue sucks.
  • Nausea sucks.
  • Blurry vision. To be fair, I had blurry vision before I was on Topamax.

And now this car issue needs to be resolved. The dealership is dragging its feet. Why would they prioritize my suffering? They have their money, they sold a car. Maybe I need a lawyer.
 

Topamax

Sep. 12th, 2017 11:17 pm
nibblezz: (Default)
 I'm back on it. I hope it's temporary. The last time I was on anti-seizure meds, full-time was in 1999. At least this time around it's only 25mg, fairly low dose, compared to my peak worse.

*Sigh*

Anyways, I'm waaay too tired to write out my feelings on the matter. Think I'll wait until the end of the work week to reflect and express my thoughts about everything.
nibblezz: (Default)
UGH

Why is everything so difficult for me? All I wanted was to buy a brand new car that is reliable and would transport me and my passengers from point a to point b. 

That's it! 

I LOVE my car, except that it's making me sick! Literally, sick. I have always been sensitive to harsh chemicals, and I did expect having a minor temporary issue with the new car smell, but six months later I didn't expect to be having these issues:
  • Severe headaches
  • Moderate sinus inflammation
  • Moderate to severe sinus, face and ear pain
  • Breathing issues
  • Lightheaded
  • Vertigo
  • Twitching (yes muscle and limb)
  • Memory issues
  • General feeling like shit

After attempting to remedy the situation myself (ex. changing cabin filters, airing car out, placing bowls of baking soda under the seats) I couldn't take it anymore, I contacted the dealership. On Monday, they agreed to clean out the car's ventilation system with a special "deodorizing" foam. On paper that sounded good, except it made my symptoms WORSE!

Was going to watch Wonder Women this weekend, but didn't feel like sitting in the chemical wasteland on wheels. And plus I just don't feel well enough to go. 

Sad to say, but if this doesn't resolve itself in the next week, I'll be forced to get rid of the car. I have a liver issue and used to have a seizure disorder, so it's a lot more important for me to be healthy rather than drive a nice, brand new car that's making me sick.


Blah

Aug. 17th, 2017 07:32 pm
nibblezz: (Default)
 Other than the freak show in the Whitehouse, nothing really new to report.


All is well with work. No craziness yet.

Still dealing with the new car smell/VOCs

Putting money aside to move out.


That's about it.

Tooth Fairy

May. 7th, 2017 10:22 pm
nibblezz: (Default)
Dear Tooth Fairy,

My sister is stupid and starting up with that whole "I'm going to die from an imagined tooth/mouth infection" again.

*Sigh*

So Tooth Fairy please do me a solid and just remove all her teeth. Problem solved.

Thanks for listening!

nibblez
nibblezz: (Default)
Orange Monster

Har har har! We're so proud of ourselves. We took the first step to cut essential healthcare for millions of people. Cancer? Congenital birth defects? Sexual assault victims? Sorry you're all outta luck! No pre-existing health conditions allowed! For the rest of you don't ever get sick because you won't be covered for anything. Either that or get a job with health coverage, I mean every employer that ever existed offers great health coverage and it's not like great paying jobs are finite or anything. If you think about it, it's really your fault for being such losers and poor sacks of shit! Be rich like us--problem solved!

These rules don't apply to us, we are covered under the old ObamaCare rules that includes coverage for pre-existing health conditions, because we are special and better than you.

America, no hard feelings! Yeah, ok you and your loved ones will may die, but look it's for the best. Us one percenters are struggling too you know. I mean the tax breaks from this bill will help fund essentials like a new yacht, a few new gold toilets and maybe a totally sick (pun intended) Aston Martin with diamond encrusted wheels. See, waay more important than human lives.

In closing, we worship the powerful and almighty god of money, greed and corruption. In other words we don't give a fuckin shit about you or your sick babies, unless of course they can be used for our political gain. The religious right are such morons they buy into simplistic terms like "pro-life" without realizing they are anything but...

Anyways enjoy your life! And remember...don't get sick! Or ELSE!

All the best,

Your House Republicans and Friends 
nibblezz: (Cheesecake)
It's been an eventful week at home and at work. I don't feel like typing much tonight, but let's just say it's been a shitty week. At least today I can be relieved Obamacare hasn't been repealed. It's just another reminder how incompetent the Trump administration truly is.
...

I think I've gained weight, which isn't surprising since I've been eating like a pig. It feels like I've been hormonal for years. All I want to do is eat. Maybe I'm pre-menopausal or maybe I'm using food to cope with stupid crap at home and at work.
...

Cheesecake has become more adventurous. Makes me happy to see him venture out and have a little birdie fun :)
...

Season Two of The Catch has been a big disappointment. The only saving grace is the delicious eye candy that is Peter Krause. Why can't the older men around my way look like him or Boris Kodjoe? It's for the best, temptation is a bad thing especially in my current hormonal state.

UGH

Wish I had a husband that could screw my brains out right about now LOL. I better stop typing. Gotta go and exercise and no that's not an euphemism for finding someone to bang the ever living shit outta me (that would be very nice...).
nibblezz: (Cheesecake)
I had plans to hangout with a friend this weekend, but it looks like I'll have to reschedule again lol. My period decided to make a late appearance.

Stupid period.

Since my surgery my periods have been annoyingly regular. Interesting enough, pre-surgery, when my periods showed up it would last 7+ days. Post surgery, periods are now regular with only a three day duration.

I hate periods, but afterwards I feel so relieved of excess bloating and the negative emotions.

UGH. Cramping hard right now :( and my boobs are not happy. Just two more days...
nibblezz: (Cheesecake)


I can't stop eating. I'm ovulating and I'm extremely hormonal. If I could I would eat EVERYTHING on site. Good thing I'm not some subhuman monster, or my birdies would be on the menu LOL.

I would kill for a nice large plate of pizza with all the toppings with fresh cheesy bread..

Sigh

I may have to hide the scale for a few weeks lol. 

Pooped

Feb. 13th, 2017 08:23 pm
nibblezz: (Cheesecake)
I'm tired.

I Feel Blah

Nov. 1st, 2016 07:18 pm
nibblezz: (Cute)
I feel awful today. Hope I'm not coming down with something, but it would serve me right for abusing my body with those all-nighters. It didn't help that my co-worker asked if I was ok and basically insinuated that I looked bad.

LOL

Whatever.

I should be good with some hot tea, a warm blankie and my Surface Pro. That combination can cure just about anything. You know what would cure my burn out? A Surface Studio. Yup it's scientifically proven to cure all sorts of stuff. Don't you love science? 
nibblezz: (Cute)
I pulled an all-nighter for nothing. I got up took a shower and felt awful. Didn't feel like making the 100 mile round trip to school. At 35 I'm noticing a slow down. I can't do the all-nighters anymore, those days are gone.

Anyways, since I'm home I'll catch-up on things I've been neglecting.

So today is Halloween. Eh. Don't observe it. Tomorrow there's going to be lots of post-halloween candy sales. I'll be on the look-out for the Jolly Ranchers.

When did Twitter become home to the far-right nutters? As a moderate I can't stand neither side. 
nibblezz: (Cute)
Been tried...exhausted really so this post will be short.

  • Been super stressed, but what else is new.

  • Bought Cheesecake a cat toy. As expected he hates it.

  • Had a hormonal freak out. Damn. Why do I still have my period? After my right ovary was removed I was hoping the other would just fail. No such luck.

  • Super hungry. Like I want to eat cake all day LOL.

  • Having the blahs.

  • Skipped school Monday and slept in.

nibblezz: (Cute)
Today my sister finally went to the dentist and...she lived LOL. After all the hysterics the dentist sent her away with a prescription of antibiotics and ibuprofen for her gum infection.

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

This would have been the end of my post except more drama ensues! X-rays? Nope, because she felt like she was "choking." Apparently the machine obstructed her breathing to the point she didn't want to continue. You know because dental x-rays will definitely choke you to death LOL.

Ok no x-rays, fine what about an oral exam? No to that too. You see the precious delicate flower didn't want to open her mouth wide enough for him to perform a proper exam because it hurt. LOL!!! So no x-rays or oral exam. Good thing I didn't miss work for her I would have been angry. Basically the dentist didn't want to put up with her BS so he gave her a referral to another dentist 20 miles away. Apparently he doesn't deal with "complicated" patients. That's code for 'I don't want to deal with your stupid face.'

LMAO!!

Yup my sister is a delicate and precious flower that needs to be coddled. She's goining to be 40 next year and still behaves like a nine year old. It's not cute or funny. When will the brainless wonder get a clue and start acting like an adult?!                                                   
nibblezz: (Cute)
I came home from work to be greeted by my sister dramatically proclaiming she rather die if her "condition" worsens because she has no money for a dentist.

*Sigh*

You see my sister is currently experiencing so-called excuriating pain. What she considers "excuriating" us normal people call mild to moderate pain.

When a normal person thinks they have an oral infection we seek ways to kill it like using Cepacol mouthwash (it's anti-bacterial), hydrogenperoxide or a hot water salt gargle. But since my sister is a special and delicate flower she immediately jumps to the most sanest and logical conclusion--she needs oral surgery and she will likely die from the infection. LOL!!!

First shouldn't you try the easiest and most accessible treatment methods first? Then if you have no success and experiencing other symptoms proceed to visit your nearest urgent care and get a prescription of anti-biotics? My sister qualifies for Medi-Cal, which is free medical care. So what the heck is the problem?

To be frank I don't think this is a legit dental emergency. I think she inadvertently put pressure on her cheek while sleeping and nipped her gum/cheek in the process. LOL. Since she doesn't practice good oral hygiene it probably got infected. Since she shies away from anything hard she let it fester and the infection got worse. So the pain she's experiencing is probably gum inflammation/irriation. LOL.

Whatever. She's a freakin moron. I know I shouldn't say this, but I just don't care anymore. Maybe she's right. Maybe this infection will defy all odds and kill her...and to be honest...it would be a relief. It would be good riddance to an overly troubled and burdensome individual. I'm tired of dealing with a lifetime of her stupid shit.

I'm Alive

Apr. 19th, 2016 12:30 am
nibblezz: (Cute)
So it's April now. So much stuff...

The Good

  • I FINALLY got hired and it's local! No more awful soul crushing morning commutes.

  • There is three more weeks until the semester is over. I hate school.

  • I love my new wardobe.

  • Free to exhale. Finished taxes on Sunday and it looks like I'm getting a small refund. Tax software from best to least: Turbo Tax > TaxAct > H&R Block. This will be my first and last time I use H&R Block. There was a reason Amazon had a price cut. Never again.

  • Discovered the Prism app. Got all my bills paid and sorted out.

  • I have hope again, that my situation will get better.

  • Hooked on The Catch.

  • I lost weight :)

  • Been more physically active, which led to the weight loss.


The Bad

  • Burnt-out. I can't bring myself to start on my project or draw...or design. Which is an awful thing considering my job is designing LOL.

  • I discovered I hate risographs.

  • Got bad news about my cousin. Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It's not looking good for her :( If anyone happens to read this please pray for her. If Jesus can bring Lazarus back from the dead there is still hope for her.

  • The used copy of Adobe CS5 didn't pan out. The seller is a lying sack of poo. Good thing I bought it off of Amazon and was able to get my monies back. But this leaves me without software. CC? Yuck. I guess at this point I have no choice. I just wish Affinity would hurry up and release the beta for Windows already.

  • Had a mini spiritual meltdown and axed bible study. In my defense my bible study partner had very little life expereince in well...everything lol. I'm sure once she goes through more gut wrenching trials she'll grow some empathy until then...BYE! LOL

Sinus Pain

Jan. 18th, 2016 05:16 am
nibblezz: (Cute)
I can't sleep. My face hurts so bad. Made worse by going on twitter and reading Adam Baldwin's tweets. For the record I'm not a liberal or conservative. I'm what you call a moderate and I don't vote via party lines.

Underneath "douche" there should be a picture of Adam. The guy gives decent conservatives a bad name. How hard is it to admit when you're in the wrong? It would seem he resorts to petty name calling when he loses an argument LOL. Typical behavior of a militant party/political hardliner.

I'll just be glad when this joke of an election is over. There is not one candidate that I would vote for. I think I'll write "Mickey Mouse" as the write-in candidate. We'll be better off with Mickey as the president compared to the hacks running.

Progress

Dec. 9th, 2015 09:07 pm
nibblezz: (Cute)
It's been six months since my surgery and I finally feel like the old me. It felt good to finally be able to do stuff like briskly walking to the parking lot or get up without having to hold on to something.

Undergoing surgery and the recovery process has sucked, BUT I am grateful that it wasn't more serious...like cancer. While this year has been difficult to say the very least, I understand it could have been far worse.
...

Cheesecake has really made a lot of progress. I can't blame the poor little guy for not trusting humans. For the first 16 years of his life he was never allowed out of his cage. He never was socialized properly. Getting him to come out of his cage was and still is a challenge, but he's slowly but surely starting to venture out. Initially I wasn't sure about Cheesecake coming to live with me, but I'm glad the circumstances permitted him in my life. It's just a shame Peaches and Cheesecake can't be friends.

I guess Peaches is just not a bird's bird LOL. He was also very antagonizing toward Snickers when he was alive. Snickers always used to commandeer Peaches' cage LOL. I miss that cute little trouble maker.

Sigh

Sep. 2nd, 2015 08:34 pm
nibblezz: (Cute)
Lots of eBay, PayPal, school, Amazon and hospital bill shenanigans.

EBay seller cancelled the transaction and refunded my monies. Great. Now I have no software. Back to the drawing board. Maybe God's looking out for me. Perhaps the serial was no good?

Dropped my last class. Coming back from surgery to a full time schedule was just a bit too much.

Amazon seller refunded my transaction. Why list a product if you're not 100% sure if it's compatible with the listed model number? Bleh.

I feel my hospital bill is wrong. I don't see my co-pay payment being applied to the final bill. The difference can be $374 if I'm right.
nibblezz: (Cute)
Ouch...my gums hurt. This may sound disgusting, but I haven't done a proper flossing in ages. Tonight I did and well, my gums are hurting really badly LOL.
...

Today I was tested. When it felt my anger was going to get the better of me I prayed and read James 1:19. Doing both helped to calm myself down.
...

I saw a JD Farag post on [livejournal.com profile] jesusfreaks. Before reading the post, I've briefly watched some of JD Farag end-time sermons. He's a little cooky (in a good way), but his end-time knowledge is very good. Anyways so I watched his prophecy update. I don't think I'm going to be worried/anticipating anything happening in September, but hey like he said the rapture can happen at anytime.

While watching, I couldn't help but wonder if the enemy is using my ex's death and other issues to occupy my time and thoughts while all these things are going down? I'm devoting too much time worrying and obsessing about things that hold no eternal value. Is this the plan of the enemy to kill my enthusiasm for the Lord, steal my time and destroy my soul? To make me waste precious time about non-important things that I leave this earth not fulfilling my calling? It sure feels like it. I need to pray and ask for our Lord's direction.

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